I know 40 is just an idea – a finish line, not a finish line. – a novel from my mother – hela herty.


Any time in a woman’s life, birth is a dangerous subject, but rarely more so than during the fifth decade, when conventional wisdom, if not science, suggests that the golden gate is closed. It was lahti forthcoming forthcoming books of the latest findings in May, but it is not only the results of a survey: her narrator struggling with his ambivalence, therefore, aware of the possibilities is always endless. Accept that they may not copy or decide not to question whether they feel differently about women; Those who yearn for children and have no children sometimes fall into a panic, as if a single birthday party is the hub of life. As a 40 pregnant women due to depict women here is (or just) like in any other age pregnancy may not be completely different, but it tends to cause contemporaries infatuation or liberation. I know, because I’ve been myself lately.
But is it really a big problem? Pop culture provides the outliers, such as janet Jackson and now Illinois senator tammy voss, mike he pregnant with her second child at the age of 49 (to her first child is 47 years old), in a recent interview revealed her fertility doctors told her “50 is the new” but the popular culture of Bridget Jones and charlotte york time bomb neurosis have common impression, with Naomi baum Bach’s comedy “when we are young” na, Naomi watts 40 childless people’s words, “after 35 years old, this is a bad performance.”
The truth is, for most women, this is not the case. Many common fertility disorders are unrelated to women’s age; Some, such as the widely reported decline in sperm count, have nothing to do with women. In fact, the cliff is usually not 35, not even 40; It may be close to 44 or so, although the eggs can stretch the Numbers further, and everyone is different.
In fact, between the ages of 40 and 44 and 45 to 49, the birth rate in the United States – although the overall record low – is growing at the fastest rate. In cities such as New York and Los Angeles, this kind of phenomenon is especially easy to observe, the professional and coupling is competitive sports, and I own the obstetrician in ultrasonic treatment for the first time in last year’s, at the age of 39 let me rest assured, he more than half of patients older than I am. “My college roommate should have expired the day before. I found that other people of my age had my children for a few months, “said Amber Feld, a 40-year-old Los Angeles publicist who was expecting her first child in April. “I was really surprised. I think I might be the last one, but I don’t think I’ll be near the end. ”
Not a single woman filmed the mix, specifically planning to involve children over 40; That’s how things are going. The reason why they are late is that they should not demand an explanation – but a variety. Some people need time to find the right partner on the left side. Some people happily pair up at an early date, and then find fertility problems that take years to solve. Others remain concerned about the outlook for parenting until the last minute. Aya Kanai, a 40-year-old fashion director who designed the egg using IVF, froze when she was 36. Her daughter was born a few days after the portrait was taken. “I have this funny moment,” she said, “where I am, ‘well, now I’m going to be one of those annoying moms. ‘”

This emotional implication may be the most common source of anxiety for women who are considering copying in affluent adult life: loss of identity – unfettered sex, professional tenacity, free will. As Rachel Cusk delicately describes in her memoir, “the work of life” in her scorched earth pregnant woman, motherhood leaves women out of themselves and makes a profound change in women’s understanding of their existence. Her other person already exists, and they live within the jurisdiction of her consciousness after they were born. When she was with them, she was not herself; When she didn’t have them, she wasn’t herself. ”
This is a kind of people can only truly understood by living, although the mechanism – 4 o ‘clock in the morning of the clustering of feed, spit out the stain, suddenly the sundance g wood all temptations – only need very little explanation. At 40 degrees to all of these will be easier or more difficult – at this point, people are more likely to rely on a whim or miniature LSD or manage a team of subordinates to Corsica – rather than as it is now, 30? It depends on who you ask, or when you ask them.
At the age of 40, I encountered another separated with 38 people raised a 4 month old daughter, I sometimes think I’m still figuring out who I am, but I know, when I decided to let it happen, perhaps this is why I let it happen, I can’t continue like before, think it over and over again, shopping, always in the side projects and social scene, in playing with my baby face. The news caused some old flames to shock and shock, as if I had lost the position of free spirit. But is rock music better than life? Besides, it is not an adjustment to spend very little time thinking about yourself or taking part in bad art. This is a great comfort. Only in about six weeks later, I began to consider what happened before and will happen next, and understand all this if she is in pain, and I must in any case be involved – enterprise with mother seems to be problems in every respect. Fortunately, I can barely track where my iPhone is. My baby didn’t cause a crisis; She herself is meditation.
This is not to say that a woman must be a mother of the whole, or that the coming and going of the race against nature deserves special recognition. However, no matter how people perceive the parent-child relationship, when a person is at the age of 40, or at least I did so, the internal narrative build around digital era – “should be” – began to give way to the vivid mind, giving up control is that there never was not there. Sooner or later, children or without children, we realize that we are no longer young, but that in turn makes us more open and different. “I feel more prepared for career – in my career, but also in my mood state,” the 44-year-old new yorkers and design director Mr Khanh Cruz, says his second child arrived on valentine’s day. “I don’t think it will happen any faster.”


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